You Can Choose Your Friends, You Cannot Choose Your Relatives, Not Now, Not Ever

Friends are usually like us, at least we choose friends who do not upset us or our image of ourselves. But in all reality our relatives are not at all like that, not our relatives in the here and now and not our relatives in the past.

Some people, maybe most people, have an image of themselves based on the family that they know of, or the family they think they know of. Most people have a lot of misconceptions about family, the amount of these misconceptions is staggering when looked at. We seem to like holding on to the positive and eliminating or minimizing that which is not positive or is downright unsavory. Sort of a natural thing to do, probably imprinted in our DNA. However the picture that we end up with of ourselves and our family is distorted.

The opposite is sometimes also true, where the unsavory is known but the positive is not. The latter is not as common as the former, for obvious reasons.

Genealogical research in the age of the computer and the internet is shedding light on our ancestors, every ones ancestors and us too.  The light shed may be positive, negative or somewhere in between. Most folks come in contact with groups and/or entities over time that have a tendency to leave a trail. Some examples are marriage licenses issued by the states, divorces, births, deaths, court appearances, news articles in newspapers etc., etc. These types of records are usually public in nature and available if a person has the where with all to do the search.

Sometimes this information that is out there is sort of funny and sometimes it is sad or downright disturbing. A person has to learn to look at it, see how it has affected the current generation and then let it slide off of your back.

But most will continue with the image that they have concocted of themselves and pass this on as fact. It is no wonder so many folks are confused. Some of this concocted history is due to it being passed down but more often than not it is intentional. An effort on the part of many to hide by outright lies and/or omissions.

Some folks have gone to extreme measures to do this. Examples are Mormons trying to connect the Native Americans to the "lost tribes of Israel", some New Mexicans trying to prove by dubious methods a "Jewish connection" prior to the early 1800's. Other New Mexicans insisting on "pure Spanish blood", others adding Indian ancestry. Some non New Mexicans go to great lengths adding "Noble Red Man" image of their families. The examples are many and well documented.